Prideful Admission

I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top. Psalm 102:7

I have to pridefully admit that with each pregnancy I secretly anticipate the world celebrating in great jubilation that I have been given such an incredible blessing. I expect my husband to dote on me and I expect this time I will be thin, with a beautifully rounded belly that can be shown off in those tight little maternity tops. I expect people to stand and offer me their seat, for anything I am carrying to be quickly removed from my hands, and of course, I expect handicapped parking privileges. It is quite heart-breaking each time my fairy-tale bubble is burst and I realize that most people don't share in my glee until I present the adorable baby nine months later.

I have just come to the realization, thanks to a wonderful pregnancy devotional, that part of the beauty of pregnancy is that I do get to experience this in solitude. The miracle of pregnancy is walked alone. I have this precious time when I alone commune with my child. I can imagine my baby and I integrally wrapped together. There is great simplicity in solitude and all too soon it will come to an end, when I give birth and present him or her to the world.

These are only a shadow of what is to come, but the substance belongs to Christ. Colossians 2:17

Look on my right hand and see - there is no one who takes notice of me; no refuge remains in me; no one cares for me. I cry to you, O Lord; I say, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living." Psalm 142:4-5

Be careful then how you live, not as unwise people but as wise, making the most of the time, because the days are evil. So do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Ephesians 5:15-17

Blessing

I've had a few readers discover my accidental pregnancy announcement! Ha! I hadn't shared before because I had so few symptoms, and absolutely no nausea, so expected to miscarry at any point. As time passed, I became a bit more nervous that this pregnancy wasn't viable. After sharing my concerns with several thorough readers, it became quite clear that I have among my friends a few prayer warriors. I was so sick the other night I thought I was going to die! Sick enough in fact that I didn't have to point out the obvious to my husband (that he needed to care for Samuel so I could make friends with the toilet!) I was praying and repenting my doubt and ungratefulness for a peaceful pregnancy. Thank-you my friends and of course, the reassurance took me shopping in celebration! No more prayers for nausea/vomiting though! I am good to go!

Not only did I buy some maternity clothes, but I found lots of sale items for Christmas. I found Elmo pajamas and a robe for Samuel. I was so excited and can't wait to watch him open gifts this year. Keely has picked out a large portion of her gifts, but I suppose once you confess to not believing in Santa Clause you live with the consequences of not having the anticipation of Christmas morning. We do plan to make most of our gifts this year though.

The other blessing yesterday was rededicating my love to Chick-fil-A. Who doesn't love that place? The service is always excellent. The food is fabulous. They support their community and clearly are a faith-based practice. They are a bit pricey though. Yesterday however, I was reminded that this simply means you are getting what you pay for. I went through the drive-through and ordered the boys their kids meals and me the number one. Then as I rounded to the window I remembered Samuel playing with my wallet in the office and I hadn't returned it to my purse. Of course, I couldn't get the attention of the workers until they were ready to hand out our food. I quickly explained the situation and asked if they would set the food aside, that my husband was in town and could run some money over in the next few minutes. She looked at me like I was absurd and said, "You need to eat! We'll give you the food and the receipt. Then when you can, just stop back buy and pay the bill." What?! I am a life-long Chick-fil-A fan. Eat Mor Chikin!