Packing the Freezer

Noah can't ever be serious and pose for the camera.

We are working on packing the freezer, primarily so when we are starving or exhausted, we won't resort to eating unhealthy, convenient foods. Yesterday as I was cooking down the chicken and making stock, I had the boys make a stack of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. They should be edible. We have at least ten in there, before the task became a food fight.

The chicken pot pies look srumptous. I'll freeze them and then stick them in freezer bags. I really should have made my own pie crust, but skipped this part. I heard Martha Stewart say one time that this is one short cut she always takes, which really surprised me. She also doesn't make her own evaporated milk. I figure if Martha Stewart cheats on these things, who am I to go the extra fifty-five miles?

We haven't had cold cereal or pop-tarts all week! Today Keely grabbed two of our waffles out of the freezer, dropped them in the toaster, plopped a gob of butter on them with some syrup and took them to Mike. He almost gagged on the first frozen bite. We warmed them up and spread on some butter, and then he thoroughly enjoyed them. Yeah! I told him there was nothing unhealthy in them...no sugar what-so-ever...except the pure maple syrup. He was impressed.

I think we'll freeze some breakfast burritos sometime. Keely made a stack of pancakes yesterday, but the wheat flour pancakes aren't nearly as good as the sinful white flour cakes. We have a cram packed evening and weekend, so this may get pushed to next week.

Knitting

It is sort of a prerequisite that midwives know how to knit and trusting my secret is safe here, I'll admit I haven't a clue how to do it. I have crocheted for several years and humbly admit to being fairly good, and although I can typically teach myself new crafty skills, knitting has really mystified me. It is a skill though that I desperately want to attain. We were chit-chatting about this to a Zionsville lady today and she informed us that there was a fabulous knitting store in Zionsville. Amy and I stopped by.


The store offers a plethora of classes, which I intend to partake in. My schedule will be winding down just a bit...what am I thinking!?! I have finals in April... well, if I don't pass, here is where I'll be. Wednesdays are knit to your hearts desire. Come in and pick your project and they'll help you with it. This might be my plan. I have an entire dresser full of yarn and a long list of projects that I want to finish and/or start. What fun it would be to have our next staff meeting here! Are you up for it ladies?

Martial Arts

Noah has been taking Gospel Martial Arts for most of this year. We had tried this once before, but because of his sensory integration disorder he couldn't wear the uniform. Although he desperately wanted to do it he had a panic attack during his first lesson and we had to withdraw. He has gotten a bit better as he's gotten older, but I contribute a lot of his healing to massage. Anyway, this program is Christian-based, which not only requires he learn his forms, but also scripture and discipline. Tonight I stayed to watch him and steal pictures, which just THRILLED him! (Read that again, with a good deal of sarcasm.)

I was really rather impressed. Noah didn't demonstrate a whole lot of atheletic talent in soccer, although he was the cutest kid on the team, and he hasn't had interest in any other sport what-so-ever to my disappointment. He gets this from his father, although oddly enough Mike is the thin one now and I am sitting here adding even more pounds to my waistline, as I eat BBQ chips and update the blog. I do have my yellow belt though, which I earned while I was five months pregnant with Keely and I am fairly confident I could still break a board with one kick (not so confident I could get the belt around my midline and quite confident the uniform would not fit)!

Here is Noah doing his devotional...well, he is hiding from the camera.

Gardening Cheat Sheet

My dear friend Emily shared a fabulous (realizing that I use that word a lot) blog for all sorts of great gardening tricks. I printed off a list that details what a family of four would need to plant to offer the veges they would want for the next 300 days. Love it! I'll be nosing around this site this evening.

Oh! Here is another one shared by Emily. This site just makes me homesick...for something I have never had! I would love to live on a homestead and have a huge herb garden, vegetable garden, cut flowers, and of course, chickens, lambs, and a milking cow. I adore my house and can't imagine ever moving, but I am working hard on planting this desire in my son's little mind, so I can come play at his house. Here is another great site with a print out gardening cheat sheet. This is a planner...when do I start tomatoes?

During our herbal workshop today, the speaker strongly recommended the author Marge Clark. She says her books are full of credible information, specific to those in the midwest and are very creative...and illustrated beautifully (which I personally require in herbal and gardening books). After I picked Keely up from her "cultural" field trip, we drove down to the half-price books store. I didn't have any luck finding any of the Clark books, but I did find several for the practice's lending library.

Unfortunately, our practice, well maybe a bit fortunately... we haven't had trouble with insufficient breastmilk. Rather, we have had clients with so much milk, and babies that are so attached, moms are feeling very over-whelmed as well as their baby's guts...leading to colicky, fussy babies. This is why you'll find books on fussy babies, the baby sleep book and attachment parenting in the stack. I also have a few moms that struggle with postpartum depression, so thought the Brooke Shields book might be an easy read. Of course, I couldn't turn down the Duggards! I have the Natural Healthy Babies and Children book by the same author as this Natural Healthy Pregnancy book, so had to snatch it along with these great little herbal and aromatherapy books. Fun! If only I had time to read them.

Planted Herbs

Amy and I went to a workshop today at Altums, Planting Your Healing Garden. I had a fabulous time, and assume she did as well. It wasn't quite what we expected, but we left with a beautiful arrangement of herbs. We were given clay pots and freedom to choose four herbs. I chose dill, flat parsley, rosemary, and lemon thyme. Amy chose rosemary, parsley, oregano and basil. It was so hard to choose and we both left coveting each others arrangements. Her's were tall and wild, with exception of her rosemary, which was planted sideways so it would cascade over the sides of her pot. Mine were more compact choices, but offered a bit of variegated color. We are both rather anxious about maintaining these, as we both live in big old homes with huge mature trees that while gorgeous, rob us of early morning light for successfully growing houseplants. Here's hoping!

The aroma of them though, is breath-taking. Every time I walk in the kitchen I can smell them, particularly the rosemary, inspiring me to cook. I decided on chicken pot pie, so threw in a roaster and will cook it into four pot pies to freeze for lazy days. Here is my chicken with some fresh parsley, awaiting Noah's onions. This big white stock pot was one of the very few things I inherited from my Grandmother Pearcy, my father's mother. I didn't know her well, but every time I use it I think of all the big dinners she must have made for her family. Makes me feel a bit connected to a line of women I don't know, but women that served their families as I am trying to today.

The tears are just hitting him...

Noah loves to cook; rather, he loves to chop up the vegetables, even the onion and yes, he knows what happens. He was in the middle of cutting this large onion and it hit him hard. I offered to take over but he was committed, he just needed a few breaks. I am not sure if pulling his shirt over his nose helped or not. Half way through and eyes full of tears, the back door bell rang and two of Noah's friends stood at the door. He looked at me as if he had been caught...wiping tears from his eyes. Coast is clear...eyes are dry... "Okay, mom. Can I play?"

The pink bowl reminds me of some "tricks of the trade." A few births ago, last October actually, Amy and I were welcomed into a client's home and I'll have to admit, one huge fun factor in our job is that we get to scope out how other people live. We steal "tricks of the mothering trade." This lady showed us a gnat trap she had crafted and Amy was quite intrigued and went home and made it. She says it works perfect.

I haven't really had trouble with gnats, so didn't pay enough attention. Today while at the herb store, the master gardener was sharing her favorite plant food "Inside Pharm," stating it was all organic made mostly out of essential oils. I purchased some but was really shocked by the price. Amy explained later that they make a compost or manure tea to feed their plants. Genius! I hadn't heard of this before, but clearly plants would love that and what a more organic way to do it. We then starting sharing tricks about our compost bins and I shared that I once attended a homebirth and when I went for ice in the freezer, I was over-whelmed by old orange peels, greens, bananas... the mother had shared that she freezes her compost in the winter. Love it! Ever since, I have used the pink bowl for our compost bin in the freezer and haven't had a single gnat.

Breakfast

As I think I've shared before, breakfast is hard for me. It is my favorite meal, but I am not a morning person. I am just not capable of getting up, getting dressed, and making a nice breakfast for the family. I need food within five minutes of my feet hitting the floor. However, I also hate pop-tarts and cold cereal.

Franny sent me an e-book full of freezer recipes. Noah and I spent tonight making several batches of waffles, after we drove into Lafayette to buy a waffle maker. I have wanted one of these for quite sometime, but never squeezed it into the budget. I splurged today as I was still high on a fabulous birth.

Wow! They smell so good and are so fluffy. We are freezing them, so when we rise in the morning we'll have food ready for us. Oatmeal in the crock-pot has been working well too, now that I have figured out how to do it without burning it.

We're going to make some pancakes and freeze them tomorrow. My absolute favorite pancakes have cinnamon chips in them. My dear friend Rachael, makes her's with chocolate chips, which inspired me, but the chocolate makes me nauseous. Cinnamon however, scrumpdililicous.

Fabulous!!! Everything's Amazing, No one's Happy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoGYx35ypus

This Week's Menu

Monday - Oatmeal and Swiss Chicken Casserole
Tuesday - Waffles and Top Sirloin with potatoes, french bread and a vegetable
Wednesday - Pancakes and Lasagna
Thursday - Oatmeal and Chicken Orzo soup
Friday - Waffles and Pork Chops...brown, place pineapple slice on top, fill with raisins, pour juice on chops, add some water, cook until tender and serve with sweet potato.
Saturday - Oatmeal and Surprise!

Special Date with My Kids

I haven't talked to my husband about this yet, but I imagine he'll be in complete agreement...I think I am going to commit to celebrating the kids or at least, spending special time with them each month on their birthday date. We could go out to eat, go bike riding, sledding, sign up for a fun course at the library or art center, or whatever simple activity that would give them alone time with either Mike and I, or both. They might be served their favorite meal or skip their chores, but whatever the special treat or treats, I ultimately hope to create time that we can just sit and talk without interruptions. We would just listen, listen, listen, letting them do the talking.

I talked to Noah about this though, our biggest talker who was immediately wondering how the Duggard's would accomplish this, because his birthdate is on the 31st. I told him that if we did this, he would only get half the special days as everyone else. He has come up with several creative solutions, but has added that we must also celebrate Lyric and is quite thrilled that the 19th is today, and almost over, which would be Keely's special day. And...ha! It looks like the first one to be celebrated will be Noah! We'll keep you posted.

Scary Law Principle

I am still studying murder, intent and so forth, and have just learned that the circumstances of such crime must concur with the conduct and fault. For example, it is not burglary, which requires that the dwelling broken into and entered be that of another, if one enters a house with intent to steal when, unknown to him, the former owner has died and left the house to him. And, (here's the scary part) because the crime of rape under its traditional definition requires that the victim not be the defendant's wife, it is not rape for one to have sexual intercourse with his wife against her will an hour before their divorce.

In most jurisdictions the crime of rape has been redefined to obviate this result, but not in all jurisdictions, meaning for spite, your angry soon-to-be ex-husband could rape you, without causing physical harm, and could potentially be found innocent of any crime.

Pain in Labor

It is 2:00 am and I still reading articles. Crazy. However, I am reading one that I've had in my file for quite some time and had to share.

"Understanding the difference between 'normal' and 'abnormal' pain is taught in the Netherlands as an important midwifery skill:
I remember the director of the Dutch Midwifery School telling me that for a normal birth, there is always normal pain. And it's the art of the midwife to discriminate whether this is normal or abnormal pain. If it's abnormal pain... there is something really pathological going on. In Holland where everything is divided into physiology/pathology, normal/abnormal, the need for apin relief is abnormal. I was taught in midwifery school that once a woman starts to screan and yell, you the midwife should be happy.

Pain is normal physiology
When you think of the process involved, when you think that the woman has to get the baby from within to the outside, it's not surprising that there's some discomfort and pain.

Pain stops women and allows them to find a place of safety to give birth
So that women aren't in the middle of Safeways-which isn't a safe place to be dropping their baby out. They have to get to a safe place. So they have these pains knocking on the door.

Pain marks the occasion
There is such an incredibly huge, enormous thing about to happen that somehow you just can't do it by turning outwards and laughing and joking. You have to do something that's equally as enormous to yourself, something that you wouldn't normally be doing, a behaviour pattern that you wouldn't normally be assuming. It's like pulling everything out isn't it? Just getting hold of everything inside you so that you can do that incredible transition into having a baby.

Pain summons support
It's a big transition to becoming a mother. All these big transitions in life, like also death, need love and attention to help you deal with them. And pain relief -especially epidurals- it takes away her feeling and in doing so deprives her of enough love and attention.

Pain develops altruistic behavior in babies
Pain triggers a complex interplay of hormones and chemical changes together with a social adaption... it helps to stabilise and awaken the instinct that ou have to care for this baby for 20 years.

Pain heightens joy
The ability to feel both joy and pain seems pretty central to our being here and to hide behind Newtonian physics, I would say that every action has to have an opposite reaction. You have to have some experience of pain for the experience of joy and pleasure to have meaning.

Pain as a transition to motherhood
Pain takes us through that transition from being pregnant and growing a baby to the end product. I now it's a cliche talking about journeys and needing to go through it, but I think we do need to go through it.

The triumph of going through pain
Women feel proud of themselves because they've done something very big... like running a marathon, a sense of achievement.

Pain as a trigger of neuro-hormonal cascades
...There's a kind of inward progression. Between contractions she never comes out of that internal space, she stays in there. There's an inability to communicate. And either that inwardness becomes quite contained so that the body really becomes quite still and she doesn't move much, or there's the other extreme where it's like the demons have been released. They're actually quite easily differentiated states. What it's about is the intensity of the contractions and the sounds become more and more spontaneous. It has an authenticity which is some sort of signal.

The expression of pain: clues to progress - 'I suppose pain's a barometer really...'
The way women are behaving, the way they respond to contractions - that doesn't just mean the noise - will give us an indication of where they are in labour... that's part of the skill of midwives who don't routinely use drugs to control pain. If you're relying on un-drugged feedback from women, you get very good input, don't you, as to what's going on.

Working with pain
There are some women who've been trained or who have decided that they're going to fix their gaze on X's face or whatever, but I think that's a training thing. I did it myself when I had babies. But I think, left alone, women will - and are - completely able to do it themselves and go right into their own depth of resources. And they don't look out at all, they don't look at you except to open their eyes and plead for a caesarean or something in a panic moment when they're in transition. But I think a woman who's not desperate and who's coping, she'll disappear completely from connection with you. She becomes disconnected from her environment and from her carers or friends or whoever is supporting her, and she's in her own little space. It's like being in a bubble really... and you as the midwife can only sit and watch and really admire, I suppose how it works and what's going on.

Great article, huh!?! Amy won't inherit this one! Leap N. MIDIRS Midwifery Digest, vol 10, no 1, March 2000, pp 49-53 for the rest of the article.

Making the Change to Whole Foods

I am tossing around the idea of purchasing our own mill so we can grind our own flour. I found an attachment I can add to our KitchenAide mixer for just over $100. I can't quite make that investment now, or for a while, so will be on the search for a used one on Craigslist or yard sales this summer!

In the meantime, I am going to pray for some self control and am going to swap out:

1. commercial peanut butter for unhydrogenated peanut butter made with 100% peanuts, without added sugar;
2. fried chips, dried fruits, candy, and snack items for baked chips, popcorn, dried unsulphured fruits, raw nuts, and granola;
3. white pasta of any shape for whole wheat pasta or spelt pasta; AND FINALLY
4. boxed cereal for whole grains.

My family, particularly my husband is going to panic, fighting me kicking and screaming; however, his health is the absolute worst of everyone in the family. He doesn't know it yet, but next I'll be swapping out his pops and flavored drinks for water and herbal teas!

Last night I put an oatmeal recipe in the crock pot and it was burnt and rock hard this morning, even after spraying the pan. Any thoughts? I don't really have it in me to get up and cook a meal in the morning. Not only will my stomach not hold out, but I am a slug in the morning. If we had oatmeal ready, probably one of my favorite foods, at least I could start the day with a nutrious meal and hopefully have the momentum to keep going!

I am also realizing I need to start planning our garden for next year, as I genuinely hope to have enough to carry us through the winter (in some respects) as well as begin our herbal garden.

New Tub

Our practice has grown and so has the demand for our birth tub. As a provider, I would MUCH prefer clients use our tub because it is deep and most importantly, heated. Otherwise the birth team spends a great deal of time and energy boiling and dumping stock pots full of water into the kiddie pool, and then after the birth, dumping pots to empty the pool. I found this one on ebay and it's very similar to the one we already have; however, it is at least a foot bigger around and has a spray wash filter, so no need to buy a new $25 filter with each use! Samuel was stripping naked before we even got it out of the box!

New Couch

We have been looking for a small sofa for the school room for quite sometime. We don't really watch a lot of TV, but some evenings it is so relaxing to put in a nice movie, curl up with the kids and munch on a bag of popcorn. So not only were we looking for a comfortable sofa to curl up and do homework on, and one that would have some durability, but also one that was small enough to fit in there AND had a sleeper in it...that was also very well priced. We finally found one on Craigslist for $250, plus gas to pick it up $42. It is adorable and works perfect for what we needed.

Noah spent the night with a friend and so didn't realize we had gotten a new couch. He was so excited when he got home, "Sweet!" This evening he had to finish up some homework but was very eager to pull out the bed and lounge in front of the computer with Samuel and a Netflix movie. I went up to sit with him for a few minutes and asked why he had all those pillows stacked on the mattress. He said he saw a funniest Home Video one time and the little kid got folded into the couch when he was laying on the mattress, so he wanted to be sure there was enough weight and that his head was at the end. Poor kid...got his imagination from his mom!

Monday's Menu

Monday - Oatmeal and Pot Roast
Tuesday - Stuffed French Toast and Steak & Potatoes
Wednesday - Blueberry Muffins and Ham & Cheddar Loaf
This was excellent, so we have to have it again!
Thursday - PB&J French Toast and Baked Tilapia with rice & veges
Friday - Bacon, Egg and Cheese McMuffins and Spaghetti & Meatballs
Saturday - Fend for Yourself and Chicken Enchiladas

REFUSE NEW COINS

This simple action will make a strong statement. Please help do this. Refuse to accept these when they are handed to you. I received one from the Post Office as change and I asked for a dollar bill instead. The lady just smiled and said 'way to go', so she had read this e-mail. Please help out...our world is in enough trouble without this too!!!!!

U.S.Government to Release New Dollar Coins


You guessed it
'IN GOD WE TRUST' IS GONE!!!
If ever there was a reason to boycott something, THIS IS IT!!!!

DO NOT ACCEPT THE NEW DOLLAR COINS AS CHANGE

Together we can force them out of circulation.

(This is copy and pasted from an e-mail and I have no further information of its validity.)

Hum...so Samuel isn't the only one that likes looking at himself!

Someone Loves the camera, huh? And someone else, clearly isn't brushing his teeth when mom tells him to!

Samuel has taken a liking to Keely's boyfriend, and calls him "Eno!"

Samel Cutie

This morning when Samuel woke up I told him I loved him and that I had a surprise for him. He was so excited. He told me, "Samuel prize mommy." I said, "You do!?" and he said, "Yes," so I asked him where it was and he said, "Down." I went ahead and grabbed the kid's gifts and brought them back up-stairs. Samuel was squealing, "Wow!!"

I gave him a few Car washrags, a bouncy ball, and some Skittles. Noah and Keely got two large suckers, M&Ms and Reeces. I then asked Samuel about my surprise. He still said he had a surprise for me, so I asked him to go get it. He ignored me for a few minutes, but I kept pestering him because he kept saying he had a prize for mommy. Then he got up and said he'd be right back. He came back in and said, "Here-you-go, Mommy," handing me Keely's Valentine's gifts. Adorable!

Part Two: What does the Word Say?

The author, Rico Magnelli, argues his point by giving light to the word ginomai. He states that this word, meaning "became", functions as a verb whose action occurred in the past and whose action was attained. In other words, "there was a moment of time in the events of Genesis 2:7 when Adam, being formed, was not a living soul. Then, the breath of life was introduced, and he attained living-soul status. No one becomes a living soul in a nine-month gestation period. The time in the womb is for formation only."

Clearly, Adam was not born of a woman, yet he was formed, as we are formed. The author states life begins with our first breath. He argues that "breath" is "life" and so "living soul" is mutually inclusive with "breath" because of his understanding of the Greek word pnoe and the next word "of." You can't have one without the other, and therefore, the fetus, not having breath, can not have a living soul.

The unborn baby is then a life only as an appendage of the mother's body; it is a human being once it is born and breathes on its own. "So, we should never succumb to the logic that abortion is murder, because one must first be considered a human being, a living soul, before murder can ever enter the dialogue."

Exodus 21:22 and 23 are also used to support his arguement. These are the laws given to Moses...interpreted by the author to mean if a man causes a woman to miscarry, "so that her fruit depart," therefore intervening in a healthy pregnancy, he would not loose his life as would otherwise be the punishment for loss of life, but instead only be required to pay a fine. "If God considered it murder, the law would require a mandatory death sentence." See Exodus 21:12 and Numbers 35:30 and 31for additional instruction on the law.

Another perspective given by the author, "What did the angel, God's messenger, call Jesus Christ before he was born? 'That holy thing.' If Jesus Christ was not considered a human being in the womb by his heavenly Father, but a holy thing, how can anyone logically claim that status for any other unborn?"

I am going to reserve my argument and ask that you share yours in the comments section! No worries. No judgment. Just a beautiful discussion and encouragement for each other to dive into the Word with greater understanding.

When Does Life Begin?

When I discuss family planning with my clients, I always ask them to consider when they feel life begins prior to determining which options for child spacing might be best for them. As a graduate student in women's health, I was really conflicted with my role in counseling pregnancy options; prescribing and administering the various methods of birth control, including the morning after pill; caring for a woman choosing to terminate her pregnancy at any gestation; and even offering early prenatal diagnostic tests that really only benefit families that would opt to terminate in the event of an abnormal finding. I attempted to gain answers to my questions from my classmates and my instructor, but was quickly told that my questions were inappropriate for class discussion. My concerns were primarily, understanding the action of the various forms of birth control and my role in sharing this information with my clients. I did eventually find peace in all of this and have thus shared what I understand from man's science, leaving conviction and the decisions to my clients.

A quick midwifery lesson -- Most of us as Christians have come to understand that one or another options of birth control are abortion agents, such as the IUD or the morning-after-pill. We believe/d this because we believe life begins at conception. Medicine however believes life begins at implantation and not conception, so only abortificient agents defined by the medical field would be those agents that could dislodge or interrupt an implanted embryo.

Hormonal methods of birth control however (which include all the pills taken by mouth, the ring, the patch, the Mirena IUD, and the morning-after-pill, which is itself just a large dose of your regular birth control pill) work primarily through preventing ovulation. This would prevent conception and give peace to those of us that believe life begins at conception. However, in reality, this is the primary method of action, not the sole mechanism of action. Therefore, if a woman were to conceive there are back-up mechanisms that would prevent implantation, such as creating a harsh uterine environment. This would then end the life of a conceived embryo by artificial means...the controversy.

The rest of the story...lactational amenorrhea, the Lord's plan for child-spacing, also allows for ovulation but because the luteal phase is disrupted, conception may occur and implantation is prevented. Hum...an enormous conundrum. This is why I simply share the science and have clients pray about it, find their conviction, and support their ultimate decision. This includes the morning after pill, as it works no differently than the birth control pill and would not interrupt an implanted embryo. Most of my clients desire natural family planning overall, so no fuss, but of course then you have to ask yourself, should we have any control over childbearing at all? I believe the Lord gave us great minds and expects us to use them wisely which may include spacing babies for purposeful reasons.

Anyway, back to the point of this post. After sharing all of this with a client, I received an article in the mail titled, "Abortion, What does the Word say?" by Rico Magnelli.

Interesting...The author, a reverand, claims both the pro-life groups and the pro-choice groups are wrong "because they look to the right and to the left, not at the Word."

Consider this: Genesis 2:7 And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. The author states, "The order of the words in the Word is perfect, and when the Word is rightly divided, it remains an unbroken chain with each link in its proper place preserving its meaning." He notes that man became a living soul only after his body was formed and after he received the "breath of life."

More to come...Samuel needs boobie.

Birth Story

I don't tend to document or share birth stories as I don't find it respectful to the mother to have others share her memories, and of course, homebirth communities are so small that often just a few details can identify the mother's identity. However, the greatest reason I don't document, or even journal birth stories, is because my words simply can't give justice to the beauty I have seen.

Now I am going to break that rule, for a special story...carefully shared, with minimal details...although I so desperately wish I could share with you the story in full so you could get a glimpse of how majestic our Lord truly is. Occasionally as a midwife, I'll have a gut feeling about a particular mom's birth that can at times contradict what is before me. Often I feel this is the Holy Spirit, other times, I think it might be fear. The mother I attended this morning gave me a gut feeling, but not in the eventual outcome, just the journey towards that outcome. I expected a long, challenging birth.

One of my greatest skills as a midwife is identifying the fetal position and working to align baby into a position that provides for greatest ease in birth. Although I think the Lord blessed me with a particular ease at assessing fetal lie, I haven't always counseled mom as strongly as I should have regarding methods in which she should take advantage for manipulating baby's position. Frankly, some moms smile in agreement, yet don't really take to heart my advice. Having gained some confidence, while also respecting mom's decision to do as she pleases, I have come along way in preventing the posterior position prior to birth. This particular mother could not have been more respectful of my advice, and while she did successfully flip her persistent breech baby in her final few weeks, bringing that baby into an anterior position was proving nearly impossible. We all prayed.

Tuesday labor began, but it didn't seem to want to commit itself. However, it didn't want to let us wipe it out either. Mom was frustrated. Dad was a rock. The birth team felt we should give the couple privacy, because the labor pattern was really struggling to move into active labor. We all visited my son in West Lafayette and then grabbed a mid-night snack at McDonald's (their apple/walnut salads really are fabulous). Then almost two hours later we got the call from Dad, "Come Now!" Unfortunately, when we returned it wasn't to a woman in full blown active labor, but a thoroughly exhausted and disappointed mom still questioning herself. Her rock, seemed to have gained greater strength however, and he was rowing that boat for both of them. He had a vision and he was going to get them both there.

We all busied ourselves, gently and respectfully offering encouragement, waiting for mom to surrender. It didn't take long and she seemed to realize she needed to stop thinking and let things be...or rather, lost strength to fight what she never had control over anyway. We silently coasted through labor on mom's rhythm. She mastered this in only a few contractions, resting peacefully in between. Mom whispered a prayer asking the Lord to deliver her and then just a few contractions later voiced a desire to push as Amy was checking heart tones. In response, Amy encouraged her to push as her body guided her. The mother seemed overly fearful with this transition and I wondered if potentially her previous bulging bag had forcefully ruptured and she was reacting to that change, and then Amy squealed in both fear and delight, with a face I will not soon forget, "There the head!"

I encouraged Amy to put on her gloves and I watched as an intact amniotic sac presented with little effort. Typically when babies are born in their sac, there is a fairly tough sac that mom has to work exceptionally hard to birth. This sac however, was loose and had wrinkles in it. Further, I could see something moving inside the murky water. I reached down to give the head some posterior flexion and the little one's hand grasped mine! Adorable! Then away it went, along with head and bag, back into the safety of mom's body. Soon after, both hand and head presented in the sac and I was able to give posterior flexion as Amy wrestled with her gloves. "I don't think you have time for those now, Amy." Baby birthed completely in his intact amniotic sac, into the kiddy pool set up in their living room. I held this balloon full of water, with baby looking up at me, attempting to create a hole as my assistant worked to open my sterile instruments. However, the balloon burst in my hands and baby entered pool water and mommy's arms. An experience I might never get again. Breath-taking.

Rarely ever does a midwife see a baby born in caul or does she get to hold the hand of life before birth, or does she witness a baby born sunny-side up with such ease. The Lord was delighting us with His beauty. It wasn't missed by anyone of us.

If you think this is dangerous, give birth in an American hospital!!

Born Alive Rule

I am in the midst of my murder and manslaughter studies and found some interesting information regarding the "born alive rule," which in short determines whether one would be found guilty of an offense to a pregnant woman's unborn child if killed with intent.

The "born alive rule" requires that the fetus be born alive to be found a "person" having been the victim of a homicide. For example, if a drunk driver hit the car driven by a pregnant woman four days short of the baby's anticipated birthdate, and the emergency care providers don't recognize the urgency of her situation, failing to deliver her to the hospital in time for the infant to be saved through cesarean section, then there is no crime of murder. However, had the cesarean occurred moments earlier and the baby would have been born with a heart beat and signs of life, yet did not survive after being born alive, the drunk driver could be charged with homicide.

Interesting Facts: 18 states still subscribe to the born alive rule, either by express statutory language or through judicial interpretation; 24 states, either by expansion of existing crimes or by seperate feticide statutes, criminalize actions against the fetus, 6 from the point of viability, 6 from the point of quickening, 2 from specified weeks of fetal development, 7 from the point of fertilization or conception, and 3 without specifying a threshold; several states penalize actions against pregnant women that result in miscarriage or, in some states, injury to the fetus.

Bike Ride

We took our first bike ride of the year and my first ride on the new bike! The snow melted in just one day and although there is mud, overall, the streets are quite dry. Mike got all the bikes down and we all went riding around Thorntown. We rode far enough for my legs to felt like jello when we returned, but not far enough to put Samuel asleep. He talked the entire way...Go Mom Go!!! I am guessing we rode about a mile-and-a-half. I am so out-of-shape.

The cruiser truly is fabulous. I can't wait until this summer. I still think a basket on the front would be both cute and handy, but Mike reminded me that a...what is it called...not a pedometer...but a...mile-keeper-tracker would be nice too. I can't imagine where we'll put the baby though! I am sure not fit enough to add more weight to my bike and Mike is already hauling Samuel. We do have a kid trailer sort of thing that could hold two kids, but I don't think that will work until the next summer. Delimma...

Well, it's not quite Monday yet, but we have a busy weekend, so I thought I would work ahead.

Sunday - Bacon, Egg & Cheese on English Muffin for Brunch and Lasagna Dinner
Monday - Ham & Cheddar Loaf
Tuesday - Pizza Casserole
Wednesday - Vegetable soup in Bread Bowls
Thursday - Chicken Pie
Friday - Stuffed French Toast and Slow cooker Beef Stew
Saturday - PB&J French Toast and for dinner, Steak and Potatoes

Kitty Counters...

Keely and Noah were taking turns teaching Samuel today as I shamefully, read through blogs and cooked lunch. While Noah worked on Spanish, Keely grabbed the kitty counters and worked with Samuel on his numbers and colors. He knows most of his colors but doesn't really count past two. When she would put the third kitty down and say three, he say, "No...two," as he grabbed the first kitty from the line.

Beef Sirloin & Potato Soup

I am a huge fan of soup. My favorites are potato soup, vegetable (but smothered in cheese), and beef stew, oh of course, chicken noodle soup. We had a new one on the menu this week and absolutely loved it! It was easy to make and really tasted fabulous. Mike had saved his money to eat in the cafeteria today (apprently on Fridays he can get some southern meal smothered in gravy) so he turned down my soup for dinner... until he saw it. He walked out with the bowl over his head, "I stole some soup. It looks really good. Bye!"

I headed out to the kitchen to check on it and the kids had already scooped up their bowls as well, and mine, leaving nothing left to take a picture of! It was delicious. Gus even enjoyed the stake bone.

Ha! As I was uploading the picture, I found several that apparently Samuel was taking as Keely carried him around on her hip. I've added one of him catching her with her fingers in the soup. This is a habit I haven't managed to break of hers!

Thanks to My Loyal Commenters...

This post is inspired by 5 Minutes for Mom... Her site reads: At our new carnival, Say It Forward, we ask you to highlight one, two, or more of your Loyal Commenters. These wonderful commenters are friends in the blogosphere.

They stand by you, cry with you, laugh with you, give advice and care. It means so much when someone takes the time to comment. That is why we want to make our commenters feel just as special.

I would like to thank Amy Eckert for her comments as she seems to catch every hidden message I send her and leaves me great comments, so that I realize that my posts are entering the living rooms of my friends. Her blog, the Eckert Escapades, is adorable and was really the inspiration for me creating my own blog. Each Thursday she has Thankful Thursday sharing her family's blessings, and throughout the week adds beautiful pictures of her amazing boys and shares about her apparently large extended family and community. It is heartwarming to know there are families that genuinely are close to their parents and in-laws, aunts and uncles... Amy and her husband are also loyal supporters of missionaries and I am inspired by their outreach. Blessings!

The second commenter I would like to thank is Maria DaSilva at Like a box of chocolates. I think Maria's blog was probably the first one I knew, but I just wasn't quite clear what blogging was all about then. Maria is a loyal commenter on my posts and I couldn't appreciate her more. I wish we were neighbors though. Her daughter is absolutely precious and clearly, Maria is an amazing mother and quite frugal. Blessings!

Finally, Brenda Parish has left me a few comments that I am quite grateful for. She has two blogs, Tales from a Middle Wife and Bellycast which offers podcasts about pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding. Clearly Brenda is passionate about midwifery as she has given so much of her time in creating these fabulous podcasts. I was quite intimidated the first time she left a comment, as I realized then that people outside my forgiving sisterhood have complete access to my insanity. I am not naive enough to believe Brenda wasn't already aware that I was odd, nor has it restrained me from sharing my rather raw thoughts, but in spite of that over-whelming feeling, I couldn't be more grateful for the awareness that others do appreciate my posts and care enough to comment themselves. Shamefully, I am so very grateful for the validation of my sisters and will be sure to be mindful to leave more of my own comments on your blogs!

I am not really much of a pack-rat and I wouldn't say I am clutter bug either. Our closets are organized and not much is hiding under our beds, but I do have a rediculous amount of dust in the house, lots of wood to oil, many walls with hand-prints, carpets to shampoo and shamefully a laundry basket full of papers to organize, as well as a box of old scrapbooking items and family pictures. I also have a LOT of projects on the to-do list.

Now that the vast majority of to-do items for the practice have been accomplished, I've really turned my attention to law school and catching up where we've fallen behind in the kid's school work, but I'd love to create some sort of accountability here for those projects in hopes of completing a few this year.

The First: Mike and I started organizing the basement over Chrismtas and took ten boxes of stuff to Goodwill. We have just a little bit more to do and that huge project is done!

Pork Chops

I think I've shared before that Mike and I invested in butchering a cow and pig this year (as well as another deep freezer), and this week we've added six roaster chickens, chicken breasts and fish. All of this is organic meat and we couldn't be happier.

The pork chop recipe from my previous post was fabulous. We tried it for lunch today with some apple butter and bread (swapped by Mrs Emily for some fun in the birth spa) and some canned pears (swapped with Cindy for driving Julia to a few places that really wasn't out of our way anyway) and some corn (given to us graciously by Katie and Paul). Fabulous lunch!

I would love to begin making bread for the family. Any suggestions? Amy Eckert, aren't you a bread-maker? I'd love to make a few varieties and freeze them ahead so I am not baking all the time. Blessings!

Sunday - roasted chicken
Monday - chicken noodle soup
Tuesday - Pork chops
Wednesday - turkey tetrazzini
Thursday - breakfast for dinner
Friday - Beef Sirloin & Potato Soup
Saturday - shrimp, kielbasa, & corn

When I am Weak..When I can't Speak...

Most all moms are tearful at times during their pregnancies. It seems our emotions are much more raw, and far less controlled. It really bothers me when those emotions, when shared, are tossed to the side as, "She is just emotional," because although they are expressed with more frankness than we intend, they are genuine emotions.

I have been full of emotion since the first moment my life began, so tearfulness during pregnancy is even more intense and passionate. I can cry during seemingly light-hearted moments or for no reason at all. However, I can also cry the deepest, most pain-staking cry with realization that I am so very far from the reality of heaven, stuck in a world I don't belong. However, I've noticed when my heart is most broken, my tears tend to disappear.

I remember once as a teenager, borrowing my mother's bike. I spent the night at a friend's house and put it in her garage for the night. The next morning when I was preparing to ride home, the bike was gone. It was sort of a "did I loose my mind moment," because all the other bikes were there but mine was gone. I went back into ask my friend about it and sure enough, I did ride it and she hadn't a clue where it had gone. I walked home fearing how I would tell my mother (knowing that had very little tolerance for me in general) that her bike had been stolen while in my care.

I don't remember how I told her, but I do remember being shocked and terrified, and really disappointed with myself, but also unsure what I should have done differently. My mother was furious. She called my Dad, who came over to scream and yell at me while my mother stood there staring at the floor as if she was victim to a horrible crime. I couldn't wrap my emotions around the shock of the missing bike, the fear of telling my mother, what I was going to do to get the bike back and the disbelief in their reaction. However, they both made clear, "You don't even care."

Looking back I remember many times as a child being told I didn't care or even worse, I remember laughing during the most inappropriate times. It seems when I was over-whelmed I laughed, but it was in fear or frustration, not in humor. My parents would become furious with me. Of course my daughter does the same thing and it appears to be the ultimate deviance and disrespect, but I can empathize.

Anyway, during this pregnancy or at any point in my life, when I have those days when I just need to cry, be discouraged, heart-broken or even wallow in my misery alone in the quietness of my room and the Lord's embrace...I have no tears. Those are the moments I expect to flood my pillow with tears, but there's nothing... It is beyond my understanding.

I remember my sister saying after my son died that she didn't think I cared. I just couldn't cry at his bedside. I was so over-whelmed with devastation, I couldn't show it. I know the hospital staff felt the same way, that I was an unloving mother with a stone-cold heart. I was empty of tears.

There have been times in my current pregnancy when I feel lost, exhausted, betrayed, lonely and weak. Again, where are the tears? I think though, Nichole Nordeman has maybe given some understanding to my mysterious tearlessness in her song, I am.

When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call you by name. And I said elbow-healer, super hero, be my best-friend, come if you can...and you said, "I am."

When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call you by name...And I said, Heart-ache healer, secret keeper...be my best-friend...and you said, "I am."

When I am weak, unable to speak, still I will call you by name... Oh Shephard, Savior, Pastor, Maker...hold on to my hand. You said, "I am."

The winds of change, and circumstance blowing and all around us... And bless the moments when we feel you nearer. And when my life had begun you let the angels dance around the throne. And who can say, when they'll dance again...When I am free and headed home.

I will be weak, unable to speak, still I will call you by name...Creator, Maker, Life-Sustainer, Comforter, Healer, My Redeamer, Lord and King, Beginning and the End, I am...I am

He holds my tears. He carries me through. He knows and speaks to my heart. I remember the Lord speaking to me before I knew He existed and I know He has carried me through times when I hadn't the strength to shed even a single tear. Clearly, the world doesn't understand, but I don't have to question that anymore. My tears were never to "show my grief" to the world. My heart shed tears and all that mattered was the Lord knew and was all that I needed Him to be.

Noah's Funny...another Virgin Birth?

Noah was making graphs today in math and he made a graph for our family...seven kids, two adults. Then he made one for Jon and Kate plus eight. Then he made one for the Duggard family, so I told him about the new family that just had octuplets. I had heard from a friend that she has six older children, and in fact is unmarried and had become pregnant through in-vitro. Again, the child of a midwife...understands just enough to be dangerous. In-vitro didn't phase him, but he asked, so was this another virgin birth?

It took me a minute too, but clearly...unmarried + in-vitro = 14 virgin births!!

Priceless!

Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.
I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.
From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely,
Mrs.Smith

Please Share!!

If you are a Boone, Clinton or Montgomery County mom who has or is breastfeeding, please visit our coalition's new blog!

If you have a picture breastfeeding, please send that too! A picture of just your breastfed child is great too! If you would like to share your breastfeeding experience, a funny story, share about the support you did or didn't receive, offer tips, share resources, or vent...please share! Send me the note to penny@believemidwiferyservices.com

Samuel's Funnies...

Yesterday Samuel came running into my office with an angry little look on his face. He looked up at me slapped his legs and said, "Me body pooped. Me mess!" We have put some effort, just a little really, into potty training. He just isn't interested most of the time, but he has peed in the toilet twice this week!

This past week apparently Samuel injured my right boobie while breastfeeding. I am not sure if I was bruised or what happened exactly, but it really hurt everytime he latched on. He'd want to nurse and I'd offer the left breast. Then he'd say, "Round boobie!" which means he is running around to the other side. I explained to him that 'round boobie' hurts and he'd kiss and squeeze it and then say, "Boobie Happy!" He was not accepting that boobie still hurt after his kiss and hug.