Share the Fun

Keely competes in the 4-H Share the Fun each year. A few years ago she led an ASL group in dramatically signing Watch the Lambs by Ray Boltz. They won every level and ended up first place in the state competition. It was really moving and each time the audience was silenced, except for some whimpers. Keely found another song she would like to do, When God Ran. She competed again this year with some friends and unfortunately, wasn't as successful. They did win their local 4-H Share the Fun, but once competing in the area 6 competition, they received third place.

Children's Museum

Yesterday, Mike took the day off work and we took the kids to the Children's Museum. Samuel wore underwear out for the first time ever and didn't have a single accident! He woke up in a bad mood that morning, but when I told him our plans, which included seeing dinosaurs he was squealing all morning in anticipation.

We first stopped by Baby's-R-Us to buy him a portable potty and then headed on our way. We told him to look for dinosaurs in the road and he was absolutely thrilled beyond what we have ever seen him. It was adorable. However, when we actually reached the museum and he saw them coming out of the building, he said, "Dino kill me!" No, we reassured him and he was comforted, but his excitement was replaced with an awestruck speechlessness. This too, was new for us and I genuinely didn't think anything was capable of making Samuel speechless. I am so glad Mike was there to see it.

However, in the parking garage Mike dropped us off at the walkway (he fears my feet are going to explode at any minute) and Samuel jumped out, running, skipping, arms flaring, squealing, climbing on the rail, falling down, talking, talking, staring... it was the cutest thing and Mike missed it. He was so overwhelmed, but that didn't change throughout the entire day.

Once we got in the museum, I went to buy a new membership and the kids took Samuel to the bathroom. When they came out he saw two more dinosaurs breaking through the roof of the museum and he was squealing so loud everyone in line turned around.

I felt horrible that we hadn't taken him to the museum before then, but Mike and I realized we had taken the older two so many times it just sort of never sounded like fun again. We were a bit burnt out I suppose, but seeing it again through Samuel's eyes was absolutely precious. We saw everything, and he went back and forth between barely being able to contain himself to being numb with jaw dropped open. I am grateful I suppose that we hadn't taken him before, so this first experience was so completely fascinating for him.

We were sure he'd fall asleep as soon as we got in the van, but instead he talked and talked and talked. Noah enjoyed himself and he's old enough now to roam a bit on his own. Keely was bored stiff, but didn't express a single complaint. Afterwards, we then dropped her off at Youth Group and she experienced a beautiful God-moment. Maybe I'll get her to share it on her blog!

Did I mention that the lady at the ticket counter asked when I was due and when I mentioned I was a few days over, she said, "Ah! We've never had a birth here before!" Then at least two or three people said as I walked by, "Oh My G-D!" I realized that most people these days haven't seen a woman nine months pregnant. This is what it looks like, People! Inductions at 38 weeks and me one week over means I am almost a month farther along than what most people even see of pregnant women. I am a true anomaly and lovin it!

Boo-ful

This evening I was nursing Samuel on the couch and took a towel off my head after having just washed it. As I was fluffing it up, Samuel says, "Mommy hair boo-ful like this."

Isn't he adorable!

Samuel Midwife

Cindi was attempting to do a prenatal on me, yet Samuel had to demonstrate the skill. He knew exactly what to do. Then he took a nap.

Is that what I think it is?

Based on their reaction, I think so!

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Skipping School

Clearly, these two are up to no good. The "guys" are on top of school work that I am sure was what they were suppose to be doing! Samuel does math each day, while Noah works on his own math and Spanish. I suppose we could start teaching Samuel ASL or Spanish.

Salute Pictures

I have already shared about the banquet so here are my pictures, finally! Keely pulled the camera out when we first got there and I was so overwhelmed I screeched at her to put it away and we unfortunately, forgot to pull it out again. Oh well, I was huge and bewildered.

The awards came framed, which I've hung on the office wall. I think I might also frame the article in the Indianapolis Star. Undecided. What an honor though. The flowers were gorgeous!

The kids were fabulous and the banquet really was pretty long, particularly for Noah. On the way home, as we were going through our gift basket, Noah was thrilled to find all the Pacer items. Candice had recently taken him to a game, so he has become a fan. Half way home Mike peeked at him in the rear view mirror and this is what we saw! Ha!

Keely's Birthday

Keely had planned a big party here at our house for her fifteenth birthday and then a friend invited her and her long list of friends to use their house out in the country, with a band and so forth. At the last minute the date was changed, unfortunately to a Friday evening that I had already booked full of prenatals, so I was only able to attend the end of her party. They ended up having a sleep-over and a marvelous time.

I remember the host parents mentioning "that it was really nice of Keely to invite some of the really young girls too." It was funny because Keely did no such favor. The girls she invited are her genuine friends even though they ranged in age from eleven to seventeen. This is one of the many blessings of homeschooling. She has no awareness of what is cool and uncool with respect to age.

Isn't she pretty?

Sand

Mike and I purchased some sand for leveling the brick path in the garden and he found a local spot that sales very clean sand for only $40 a trailer load! He borrowed a dump trailer and we scooped from it for several weekends. The boys really enjoyed themselves! We completed the brick path and filled their sandbox to the brim. Fabulous.

Gus

This dog has sure grown on me and all of us, as admittedly we aren't the most loveable dog people, but enjoy the protection. Gus is a great dog. He and Keely have really enjoyed 4-H in which Keely and he participate in obedience, showmanship, agility and this year made the drill team. They will compete in the state fair this year.

Mike recently purchased a dog-stick-sort-of-thing that hooks to his bike so he can run Gus. Instead, Gus pulls Mike and Samuel down the bike trails at full speed. When they return Gus barely makes it into the house to lay down. We have been amazed at just how much these runs have tamed his behavior. Our biggest issue with him, really the only issue, is that he propels out the door the instant it is opened even if that means knocking down a child. The police are not kind to him running the neighborhood and apprently he scares a few people because he has been shot three times!

Easter Pictures!

Yeah! Amazingly, we plugged in the camera and whatever issues it has had for the past few months have completely resolved. The Lord is so kind. Here are our Easter pictures.

I wasn't as prepared for Easter this year as I have been in the past. We didn't do anything particularly special, but we did have fun creating an Easter egg on my belly. Samuel had his own side and rather than stroking, he was often poking and then saying, "Saw-dee, mommy."

The boys played in the back yard with Samuel's new ball and bat. Noah received a blow-up raft that he and Mike took out just this last weekend, already loosing their ores. Keely got new clothes and jewelry, most of which she liked! They all got books too, which each one of them enjoy. Noah is reading the Wimpy Kid series and Keely is reading the new vampire movie series - what is that called? Samuel loves any and all books honestly more than any other toy we could buy him.

Nesting

I am not sure I've had a nesting urge, as I tend to always have that sort of cleaning, reoganizing desire, but while Cindi was here we did get a great deal organized within the practice and as I already mentioned, rearranged the downstairs. We found a housekeeper on Craigslist that is absolutely fabulous and very, very affordable. I'll share her link when I find it. She cleans both bathrooms and the kitchen each week. She also does additional detail work, so I am going to have her clean a room of windows each week. The last few items on my to do list were fairly simple.

I had joked with the kids all weekend that I didn't think I could labor until our fish tank was clean, but we kept busy and it didn't get done. We decided now that I am past my due date maybe we should commit to the task and see if it brings on labor, but while doing so Keely said, "Mom, I think the problem is that you need to shave your legs."

I am so old. That so sounds like something I would have said at her age, which really doesn't seem that long ago.

Our other tasks are figuring out the issue with the camera and why we can't seem to upload our pictures and how we are going to project my music into the kitchen while I am laboring. In the process of finding the cameras and charging them we realized our huge freezer in the kitchen has gone out and everything has melted, with water running through our kitchen. Praise the Lord we have a few deep freezers in the basement, but what a misfortunate situation just prior to birth. However, I can't turn down the opportunity to really scrub it clean and clean out some of our frozen items. I imagine the repair man won't be able to fit us in for several days! Oh, where we will stick our placenta!?!

Probably a Post I Should Keep to Myself

It seems Satan is working hard to crumble this family and my mental strength surrounding this birth. I am not a stranger to Satan's warfare and gratefully, his attention towards me during my life has allowed me to witness miracles that I simply can't give justice to within a blog entry. I can genuinely feel myself on the cusp of change in many respects - boundaries with friendships, boundaries with my practice, and boundaries with my own self-discipline. However, sometimes I'll admit that I fear I haven't the strength to endure these trials. Of course, that is exactly what I need to admit for the Lord's glory to reign in these situations.

I received a nice lengthy letter today from my mother-n-law, another one, and she too, like many of my family members has a hate for me that I simply have never felt, nor can I comprehend, for another being. It is heartbreaking in many respects. One of the reasons she has such distaste for me is because of how involved I was with my own grief after my son died and didn't give enough attention to those around me and their own suffering. She was appalled by the fact that I had to take "a year off of work" (really only five months and that clearly was insufficient for the safety of my patients) and my husband was only allowed a few weeks because someone had to take care of the family. She was appalled that I didn't clean my house efficiently and others brought meals because I wasn't capable of cooking a descent meal.

Having heard this same degrading attack from both sides of my family, I have to question if in fact I was out of line in my grief. It is quite odd that while some accuse me of being too self-involved in my pity, others have shared that they felt I was too aloof and didn't act as if I cared. It seems I was on show and clearly putting on a very poor performance. I suppose I am a bit grateful that I was oblivious to this at the time...somewhat oblivious.

While I could easily take the poor-Penny-pity-me-path and share the details of her 13 page letter detailing all the many ways she hates me, I think instead I'll share that in the event you are so unfortunate as to know a mother who looses her child, know that it is completely normal and even healthy for her to fall to pieces for a while.

There is absolutely no perfect way to do it. One moment a mother may be crying without control and another moment she may laugh inappropriately. One moment she may be numb and in disbelief and the other moment, obsessive and driving her friends mad repeating the events of the situation. Some dive into their work as a detour from their grief and some dive into bed and hide from the world. Neither are better or worse than the other, and there is no perfect time in which this should end. This is a process that one moves through and a healthy, normal response to tragedy and grief.

What is abnormal is for a family member to point fingers at a mother that lost her child and tell her she is inappropriate in her grief. What is abnormal is to tell a mother whose son is buried below the ground that she was too self-centered during her heartbreak. What is abnormal is to tell a mother that she should ask God what sins she has not been forgiven for that would have caused the death of her son, or caused the Lord not to answer her prayers. What is abnormal are those that tell grieving parents not to question God. Questioning does not equate doubting, but rather seeking His understanding for healing. What is abnormal is telling parents whose son lies minutes from death that if he is not resurrected to completeness that we haven't any faith in our Father. What is abnormal is telling a friend in the depth of misery that you are tired of hearing about her sorrow and don't call to discuss it anymore. What is abnormal is that I have surrounded myself with these sorts of people because I felt the Lord expected me to demonstrate forgiveness 7 times 7 without regard.

Alas, the Lord is securing my boundaries...not a boundary of protection or a boundary of bitterness, but a boundary of health, love and joy. A boundary that doesn't allow Satan to torment me. A boundary that reaps the love of Christ so that I can shine a light for even my enemies to see.

Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary

Pure and holy, tried and true

With thanksgiving, I'll be a living

Sanctuary for You

It is you, Lord

Who came to save

The heart and soul

Of every man

It is you Lord who knows my weakness

Who gives me strength,

With thine own hand.

Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary

Pure and Holy, tried and true

With thanksgiving
I'll be a living

Sanctuary for you

Lead Me on Lord

From temptation

Purify me

From within

Fill my heart with

You holy spirit

Take away all my sin

Lord prepare me to be sanctuary

Pure and holy, tried and true

With thanksgiving, I'll be a living Sanctuary for You

Non-compliance

I had planned to write a bit about the AMA's Resolution 710, but have been a bit distracted today with irritating yet fairly nonproductive contractions. My left foot remains grossly edematous, so I've been swimming in the spa most of the afternoon and evening. Tonight, or rather early in the am, I find myself just crampy enough I can't get comfortable, so again, I thought I'd discuss the controversy. However, as I sit down to blog I find that another blogger has already elegantly given word to this issue - this is absurd and is another huge step towards creating a complete and utter medical monopoly. I'll direct you to her discussion but because she has relieved me of having to detail the issue, I can explore the other side of the coin, which will not bring me any popularity.

As a healthcare consumer, I am astonished by the 710 resolution; however, as a practitioner that works earnestly to encourage inner wisdom and conviction in my clients, I even feel abused by my clients occasionally and have a bit of empathy regarding this potentially new CPT code.

I have come to appreciate that my desire to meet everyone's needs, rather exceed their expectations (otherwise known as boundary-disorder), has caused me to nearly crumble as a midwife, mother and wife. My willingness to work above and beyond in effort to create an amazing birth experience is too often interpreted as a standard of care each client can expect for each and every need, and then when I can't meet that expectation they are greatly disappointed, some even quite hostile.

While I will refrain from using a CPT code that labels clients as non-compliant, I will admit that I have terminated care for clients that demonstrated a lack of respect and/or had expectations that were unrealistic because they created a fantasy vision of the midwifery relationship. I do however, also claim great responsibility for allowing these expectations to grow to such astonishing proportions; therefore, following my short maternity lull, I will return with office hours, delegated responsibilities to other team members, little tolerance for excepting less than what I have expressed regarding client's responsibilites, an increase in costs for services, and a boundary within my home.

I have yet to share all the new changes with my clients, as we still have some reorganization within the practice to complete, but one step we have taken and are utterly thrilled about is the boundary within our home. Our old Victorian has sliding doors between most all doorways and while the living room is used for client discussion and education with my office directly beside it, this hasn't kept clients and their children from roaming freely and uninvited through my entire house. For this reason, we have completely rearranged the flow of the first floor so during office hours we can pull shut the office's sliding doors, as well as the dining room's and clients will be limited to this area alone. My only real fear is that the glass within the dining room door will be broken or the doors will be knocked off their track by playful children, which would cost more than $1,000 to fix. I shudder at the thought, yet the alternative simply isn't acceptable anymore. My family deserves that I respect their boundaries by keeping my practice in its place.

Stay tuned for changes to come and please, please pray my clients will demonstrate mercy and grace as we work to institute these changes for their own good!

Sit! Daddy!

Samuel and Mike have a routine each day before Mike goes to work. Samuel helps him pack his lunch box, then hides his shoes until he finally gives in and acknowledges that once again his Daddy must leave him for work. Samuel also likes to reach into Mike's pill bottle and get one of his little pills and hand it to him. If Mike is ever rushed and does this himself, Samuel is a complete mess. Yesterday, Samuel retrieved a pill and rather than handing it over as he typically does, he looked at Mike and with great earnst, yelled, "SIT!"

Mike said, "I am not sitting, Samuel. We can shake paws."

Samuel shook his paw and then handed over the pill. "Good boy, Daddy."

We received good news this week. As many of you know, Mike has a long family history of skin cancer, which was the death of his grandmother. Mike has had cancer twice now and is seen every six months by his dermatologist. This past week Mike had a spot that he was really concerned was cancer and unfortunately, so did his physician. We heard this week however, that the biopsy was benign. Praise the Lord. I found another spot though on his scalp, so keep praying.

Second Chance

The Lord has granted me a second chance for my interview with the Indianapolis Star. I get such horrible pregnancy brain that I can't seem to craft a complete sentence intelligently. My interview responses the first time around were completely humiliating and most importanty, disappointing because I earnestly want to make known that there are safe options for homebirth in Indiana, yet a great deal of support from legislature needs to occur before those options can become more readily available. However, my passion isn't isolated to homebirth but to maternal/child health as a whole, which is currently in crisis and it seems clear that our community and even medical profession is completely oblivious to this fact.

Please pray that I can share my thoughts in an intelligent manner dispite the fact that I am due tomorrow and both my mind and body are very close to surrendering! Most importantly, pray that this can reach the hearts and minds of those that can assist in creating change and touch the deep issues. Currently, it is my understanding that the journalist wants to explore midwifery on a very basic level - education, certification and so forth. We'll see how creative I can be!

Living on One Income

Several years ago I attended a La Leche League workshop in which a lady spoke about natural family planning. She detoured just a bit and talked too, about preparing our daughters for motherhood. Her conviction was that too often families find themselves dependent on the income of both the husband and the wife and then when facing maternity leave, the mother must return early to work for financial reasons. Furthermore, we seem to value high status universities, when it might be more prudent to send our daughters to community colleges to decrease their overall debt. I found her talk refreshing and truly enlightening. I was sitting at the table however, with a prominent lactation expert and she was completely mortified. Clearly, her reaction was of the majority, reminding the mass of the days before female liberation. I was wishing I had heard this wisdom many years ago because I was that woman in tremendous educational debt and working full-time at five weeks postpartum because we had not planned wisely financially.

My husband and I did however, several years later succeed at creating a livelihood on one income. It was so empowering, yet when we moved into our current home we fell into temptation and stretched our budget a bit. Having stepped into private practice soon after or rather, dropping our income below even a single income because we were paying out to start up the practice with no income coming in for nearly the first year, really caused financial heart-ache.

It is my hope that I can teach my children some financial wisdom, as I imagine this issue alone is one of the greatest causes of divorce among Christian marriages. Dave Ramsey's course is an absolute God-send. There are so many options for education beyond the traditional four-year university and particularly, living on campus. One might purchase a home near the college, rent out the extra bedrooms and reap some equity. One might choose a local university and live at home while saving money. I don't see the wisdom in choosing a private school for undergraduate studies, as the debt this would incur for most families is far short of the benefit. Ivy Tech community college served me well and it was pennies on the dollar, compared to one semester I spent at Purdue. Unfortunately, this was wisdom we weren't able to impart on Mike's oldest daughter who chose a private college for her undergraduate degree and will likely spend the vast majority of her adult life as a homemaker, while we pay an enormous debt that could easily have been avoided with better planning. I too, have tremendous debt for my degrees beyond nursing and simply can't imagine ever paying them off completely without a great miracle from our Lord.

In light of this, I must share too just how completely amazing our Lord is with respect to His forgiving nature, His mercy and His desire to see us happy. Clearly, when families repeatedly struggle financially and continue to make naive and hasty decisions the world is quick to judge in spite of themselves also living in significant debt. The Lord could easily pull away and allow us to learn a lesson in hard knocks. However, I imagine many of us could share times in which the Lord simply provided and maybe not so simply, but abundantly and repeatedly.

When we lost our son, I was clearly unable to work for several months and Mike too, was unable to work for a few weeks. We had no savings, living paycheck to paycheck. It was absolutely amazing how many community members and friends stepped up to support us. One afternoon, weeks after loosing our son when most people had begun to forget about the tragedy we faced, we were preparing to leave and Noah had ran to the van ahead of us. He quickly returned with a handful of money. It was literally so much money I didn't believe it was real. Mike and him were arguing over it, as Noah protested the money was his and Mike was in shock and disbelief and was earnestly trying to discover where all the money came from. Noah said it was rolled up, sitting outside our door.

My mind was still barely functioning at this point, but as I remember, there was a simple envelop with Mike's name written on it and within it was $500 in $20 bills. I simply smiled as I felt the Lord's arms around me every moment and this was another validation of that fact. Mike wasn't as comforted initially and although we still to this day have no idea who left the money, it is his belief that it was our attorney who we had paid $500 for a retainer fee in effort to defend my prosecution for having birthed at home. We prayed for him a great deal because although he was willing to defend us, he was completely and utterly disgusted with us and was cruel on numerous occasions as we created our defense. He was a Christian man with His eyes shut to the truth.

Again, we had many amazing people step forward and tend to our needs and so many did so in ways which they will never comprehend how great their act touched our lives. It is unfortunate that I was so numb during that time, as I had no ability to thank them appropriately, although clearly to this day there is no way I can demonstrate my appreciation. We follow an amazing Lord.

Tongue Twisters

Noah and I have been working on Alliteration, which is a string of words beginning primarily with the same sound - a tongue twister. He will add his creation to his own blog, but I thought I'd share I found this one particularly challenging.

Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat.

Noah was unable to say this one.

Unique New York. Unique New York.

Funny. Check out Noah's blog.

Gardening

Our garden has grown tremendously in the past two weeks. We've picked our onions and some lettuce. Mike even remarked on how fabulous the lettuce tasted. It is beautiful too of course. We have so much work to do out there though and I am swollen too much to be productive in anyway.

I do hope we are able to visit a U-pick farm this year, which we've never done before. Here is a great link that directs you to the nearest farm...of all types...as well as gives tips regarding all sorts of gardening topics. This is strawberry season and this weekend is the Strawberry Festival in Crawfordsville. Unfortunately, it looks like the nearest U-pick farm doesn't open for another week though. Tomorrow, we might just have to mosey through the festival, but after we visit the U-pick we'll be making strawberry jam!

Private Practice

I think I might write a few posts about this topic as these last two weeks I've enjoyed the company of a friend of mine from graduate school that is working to open her own homebirth practice in Florida. The time she spent here hoping to gain a tool or two for her own practice absolutely flew by, but in spite of the tasks at hand, I was able to gain a great deal of insight regarding my own business approach.

I have learned that it takes a certain personality type to be truly successful in one's own business. Small business owners are inventive and follow through with their plans. They respect money. They are experts in their field, a humble confidence, yet also possess experience in a broad range of areas. Private practice owners typically have fairly good verbal and written communication skills and importantly, are personable.

We are positive thinkers! We're determined! We're self-disciplined, service oriented and persistent - we don't quit.

Courage is very important.

Like a muscle, it is strengthened with use.

~ Ruth Gordon

I need to give myself permission to set my own boundaries and priorities. This is where dreams differentiate from goals.

The future belongs to those who believe in the

beauty of their dreams.

~Eleanor Roosevelt

Goal setting is the means of turning your dreams into reality. They are dreams to which you commit and take action to ensure their attainment, which is altogether different from wishing and hoping and fantasizing.

What you get by achieving your goals is not

as important as what you become

by achieving your goals.

~ Zig Zigler

Maybe most importantly...

You have to know what you want to get it.

~Gertrude Stein

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in

overalls and looks like work.

~ Thomas Edison

A knowledge of the path cannot be substituted for putting one foot in front of the other.

~M.C. Richards

However, I think my success beyond recognizing my call and stepping out in faith, is my inability to settle with unfavorable circumstances. To many, this might be one of my most annoying attributes as I am always striving to conquer the unattainable and pointing out right from wrong even after everyone has clearly surrendered and settled to the disparity of a situation. I go where almost no one has energy and I go there steadfast and completely confident, unafraid of failure. Praise the Lord, early in my practice the Holy Spirit made clear to me that the Lord built up my practice and so, can tear it down just as easily. I simply persevere on a daily basis, grateful for continued guidance, yet sure of only the one step ahead of me.

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.

I don't believe in circumstances.

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up

and look for the circumstances they want,

and, if they can't find them, make them.

~George Bernard Shaw

My current task is balance. There is truly an art to being successful in the business world while staying balanced. It would be simple if our lives weren't filled with meaningful activities. However, most of us have a career or business, a family, social activities and civic responsibilities. Self-management is artfully directing your life so that you easily and joyfully accomplish what you desire. It is about taking personal responsibility for every facet of your life and increasing personal productivity while staying true to yourself.

Your attitude, not your aptitude,

will determine your altitude.

~Zig Ziglar

Baby Names

I share this having not talked to my husband, but I think the Lord has given me baby names. Early on we both felt convicted that if we were to birth a girl, we would name her Jewel. I also felt sure we were to name a boy, Simon. The middle names for both of them have eluded us completely though, so we've been very unsure what the gender of this baby would be. In the past, after learning the name, we were confident in the gender of our child and each time, He proved to have spoken.

Still, I remain unsure of the gender, but I feel quite confident in the names of both. If we are to birth a girl, we will most likely name her Jewel Elizabeth. While I am not particularly fond of traditional names, the meaning of the name is always the purpose. Although I've shared in the past the meaning and origin of our choosing Jewel, a client pointed out to me too, that Jewel meant "full of conviction, steadfast in truth, compromises nothing in her value as endowed by her Creator." I have no idea where she found that meaning, but I absolutely LOVE it.

Elizabeth was chosen because of the key verse, Luke 1:43-45. "But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!"

Elizabeth was known as a deeply spiritual woman, showed no doubts about God's ability to fulfill his promise, was the mother of John the Baptist, and was the first woman besides Mary to hear of the coming Savior. God does not forget those who have been faithful to him. God's timetable and methods do not have to conform to what we expect.

Our son, if we should be so blessed, will most likely be named Simon David. Again, Simon has been a long time love of mine because of his call to carry the cross. The song Watch the Lamb brings me to my knees every time. David however, was just a recent revelation, although one that honestly has always come in and out of my mind. David's strengths are tremendous - the greatest king of Israel, ancestor of Christ, listed in the Hall of Faith, and a man described by God himself as a man after his own heart.

His sins though were what gave me reservation about naming my son after him - committed adultery, arranged the murder of his mistress' husband, directly disobeyed God, and did not deal with the sins of his children. However, it became clear to me this evening that David, more than anything else, had an unchangeable belief in the faithful and forgiving nature of God. He was a man who lived with great zest. He sinned many times, but he was quick to confess his sins. His confessions were from the heart, and his repentance was genuine. If I could name a child genuine, I would. Loyal might be my second choice. David never gave God's forgiveness lightly or his blessings for granted. In return, God never held back from David either his forgiveness or the consequences of his actions. David experienced the joy of forgiveness even when he had to suffer the consequences of his sins.

Midwife's Psalm

I have a midwife, I shall not want. She makes me lie back on soft cushions, she leads me to walk during labor, she empowers me to birth. She will not rupture my membranes just for times' sake. Yea, though I labor in my own home for hours or even days I will fear no intervention, for she is with me: Her heart and her hands, they support me. She prepares a table beside me in the presence of my family. She anoints my perineum with oil; my water flows. Surely a precious babe will follow me all the days of my life, and I will remember this birth with joy Forever.

Salute to Nurses

Farm Fresh and Monday's Menu

I am loving this farm fresh delivery more and more with each week. Again, the invitation is open for anyone of you to join us!

This week we again received our fabulous milk, eggs, raw milk cheese, flax seed bread and our fruits and veges... athena melon, bok choy, seedless oranges, asparagus, white peaches, red romaine lettuce, cherry tomatoes, strawberries, portobello mushrooms, fresh rosemary, sage thyme and marjoram. Fabulous!

Sunday - cinnamon rolls; hambergers and hotdogs from the grill; brocolli, cheese and chicken breaded dinner

Monday - french toast; left overs; roast and salad

Tuesday - cinnamon waffles; bok choy with stir fry chicken; surprise

Wednesday - eggs & bacon; spinach & sprouts salad with egg and bacon; peach cobbler; mushroom stroganof

Thursday - waffles and strawberries; chicken salad sandwiches; surprise

Friday - surprise; roast chicken with fresh farm herbs and surprise

Saturday - pot luck

Samuel told me tonight that the sun went night-night in the sky. Tomorrow it go "pow" and wake up. He says it "pretty dark." He likes though that we have a light outside so he can see his sandbox.